she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I stole a fireplace last night.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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