I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
