running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
