I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize