Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
