I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
