Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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