I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
