Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
