You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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