He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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