That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
