Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
