She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just had sex bonerless
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Damn victory sex feels great
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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