can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
