You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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