Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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