She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
