I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
