I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
