we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
