if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
