"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
