I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
