Can Purell be used as lube?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
