How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We need to rekindle our bromance
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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