goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
