I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
