Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she pinky promised me she was 18
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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