I CAN MOONWALK!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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