Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
