I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
