so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
