My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
