New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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