Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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