But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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