Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
