the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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