Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
