i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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