I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
