Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
