I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
