I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
