She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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