Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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