I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
