They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
