Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
there was a trapeze. enough said
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
