I didn't shave. On purpose
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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