We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
