i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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