I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
