he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
