What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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