so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
