i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize