There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I love black thongs
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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