You work out of a Hotel?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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